This is kind of a weird post for this blog but I feel so strongly about this. Since Michael Jackson died I have cried many tears. Even a year later I still get emotional when I see segments on TV about him. Sure, I loved Michael. I remember sitting on my sister's water bed watching the grammys and seeing the moonwalk for the first time. His white glove would send chills down my young spine and Thriller was the first music video I ever saw. I believe the tears come from a remembrance of those memories - as any vivid childhood memories would.
More than the whole Michael Jackson of it, there is so much more. I hear so many people, both famous and not, calling him genius, kind, wonderful and many other complimentary statements. All, I am sure, are true but the tragedy of it is that if he were here and when he was here the acceptable response to him was one of contempt, pity or even disgust - the sure-bet punchline of a joke. Why does death change a person? Why do we wait until someone dies before we take time to appreciate them? Why do we get off on judging and putting down other people? What is the gain there - really?
This is the legacy Michael Jackson has left for me, little Mechelle the girl trying to maintain her weight loss. I hope I can see what people have to offer and then let them know. I hope to find the genius in others and then speak of that genius. I have a renewed understanding that acknowledging another's genius does not diminish me or my genius, in fact it enhances it. Try it and see. Compliment someone today and feel the magic!
Wednesday
Tuesday
The Race Is On
In my "battle back" mode I have to be careful. My instinct is to either cut back on my eating and to push the exercise or to throw in the towel and take a break for a while.
After a week of not even making my bed, I have come to like the lazy life. I have to mentally take each step during this crucial time. I also can not push it too hard on my workouts or burnout will happen. I have to gradually increase my effort. After a week I will be back up to my normal effort but for now I have learned to be the tortoise instead of the hair.
Today's weight 136.8 yeah tortoise ...just trying to look on the bright side.
Really, I am not looking at a number. 136 is a great number. I would have been overjoyed with 147 when I started all this. I never tried to get to a number, I just tried to watch what I ate and why and then my body took me where it wanted to go.
Last night at the pool I was thinking about how grateful I am to have the experience of both heavy and thin. I appreciate so much my body and what it has done for me. I don't think I would have such reverence if I was born thin. I am grateful for the change in me that brings me such satisfaction. I am so blessed - not for a thin body but for the journey it took to get here. And, if that is the case then I have to be grateful for the ride up on the scale as well. Strange but true.
After a week of not even making my bed, I have come to like the lazy life. I have to mentally take each step during this crucial time. I also can not push it too hard on my workouts or burnout will happen. I have to gradually increase my effort. After a week I will be back up to my normal effort but for now I have learned to be the tortoise instead of the hair.
Today's weight 136.8 yeah tortoise ...just trying to look on the bright side.
Really, I am not looking at a number. 136 is a great number. I would have been overjoyed with 147 when I started all this. I never tried to get to a number, I just tried to watch what I ate and why and then my body took me where it wanted to go.
Last night at the pool I was thinking about how grateful I am to have the experience of both heavy and thin. I appreciate so much my body and what it has done for me. I don't think I would have such reverence if I was born thin. I am grateful for the change in me that brings me such satisfaction. I am so blessed - not for a thin body but for the journey it took to get here. And, if that is the case then I have to be grateful for the ride up on the scale as well. Strange but true.
Monday
My Souvenir
We spent 7 nights and 8 days on vacation this last week. We had a great time. I didn't feel like I went crazy or anything but I knew when I got on the scale a number would appear that I wasn't thrilled about. One hundred and forty (spelling it looked better to me) was the first number that greeted me. This morning I am at 137. Time to battle back. It always amazes me how eating out effects me so much. I am going to log my weight for a while so that I, and you, can see how it will play out.
Wish me luck, I am off to exercise for the first time in a week and I am not looking forward to it:/
Saturday
Big Deal
The truth about weight loss is... no more are the days I can have a big stack of pancakes drenched in butter and syrup. Or, if I do then they become "big deals". As much as I would like to fight this truth I can't fight facts.
The goal is to get to the point where the desire to be healthy becomes stronger than the desire to eat the pancakes. This miraculous change (who doesn't love a good stack of pancakes?) does not come from the weight magically being gone and especially not from shear force. It comes from knowing who you are and loving every butt, I mean bit, of it;) It is a leap of faith to believe this is true but those of us on the other side can lend a parachute and help you get here. You are a "big deal" to the universe.
I have "big deal" foods a lot. They are not as scarce as you might think. If a slice of cake breaks your bank then maybe your idea of the size of that bank needs to change. We are not all supposed to look alike - not the same shape or size. Finding the balance between enjoying life and having a healthy body is the ultimate "big deal"!
The goal is to get to the point where the desire to be healthy becomes stronger than the desire to eat the pancakes. This miraculous change (who doesn't love a good stack of pancakes?) does not come from the weight magically being gone and especially not from shear force. It comes from knowing who you are and loving every butt, I mean bit, of it;) It is a leap of faith to believe this is true but those of us on the other side can lend a parachute and help you get here. You are a "big deal" to the universe.
I have "big deal" foods a lot. They are not as scarce as you might think. If a slice of cake breaks your bank then maybe your idea of the size of that bank needs to change. We are not all supposed to look alike - not the same shape or size. Finding the balance between enjoying life and having a healthy body is the ultimate "big deal"!
Friday
Changin' it up
My workout has changed a little. Because I was starting to stare at the time in agony I decided it was time to switch things up. I now do a five and a half minute circuit of sorts. I do one or two sets of weights then elliptical then weights then elliptical until I reach a total of twenty-two golden minutes on the elliptical. Why twenty-two? It is my hubby's favorite number I guess? No reason really. I started at twenty minutes with no resistance and am now at twenty-two on a nine out of ten resistance. I believe in slowly progressing so that I don't tire quickly. There are seasons in life and right now mommyhood requires extra time but all too soon (my baby only has one more year before kindergarten:\ :/) time will be all I have. I imagine trips to the gym will be on the daily list but, as for now, the basement elliptical suits me fine.
Thursday
Science... gotta love it :D
My hubby is taking an online physics class. Why? Who?? What??? Anyway, he showed me this concept he had learned and I thought it was very interesting (said in my best mythical voice). This graphic uses cars and miles per hour. If you started with a car that gets 10 mpg and then changed to a car that gets 20 mpg, you would see the greatest improvement or savings. I relate this scenario to exercise. When you are just starting out, killing yourself may not have any more advantage than a quick 20 minutes. Sometimes more is just more!
Wednesday
"Perfect"
A few years ago we built a new house. This was our third round of house building and with two experiences under our belts I was sure I would end the process with the perfect house.
This morning I remembered how in my last house I didn't have a window in my master bath and how I specifically worked with the architect to make sure my bathrooms had windows. I reminisced about many other "must haves" that I now take totally for granted - having come up with a whole new wish list:/
This type of thing happens a lot on a weight loss journey. Our "if onlys" can knock us to the ground and only a straight head can pull us back up. For the first 20 pounds of weight loss I denied I was losing weight when others complimented me. I was not losing, I was just getting back to normal. When I started to intensely work on the other 25 pounds I wanted only to see below 150 pounds on the scale - I would have settled for 149.5! Although, my "if only" didn't rule my weight loss, I do need to take time now to appreciate the progress. Sure, I could buckle down and lose another few pounds and see a new low but my energy is better spent liking me for me. You and I are so much more than a number on the scale!
This morning I remembered how in my last house I didn't have a window in my master bath and how I specifically worked with the architect to make sure my bathrooms had windows. I reminisced about many other "must haves" that I now take totally for granted - having come up with a whole new wish list:/
This type of thing happens a lot on a weight loss journey. Our "if onlys" can knock us to the ground and only a straight head can pull us back up. For the first 20 pounds of weight loss I denied I was losing weight when others complimented me. I was not losing, I was just getting back to normal. When I started to intensely work on the other 25 pounds I wanted only to see below 150 pounds on the scale - I would have settled for 149.5! Although, my "if only" didn't rule my weight loss, I do need to take time now to appreciate the progress. Sure, I could buckle down and lose another few pounds and see a new low but my energy is better spent liking me for me. You and I are so much more than a number on the scale!
Tuesday
Weighting?
I am debating whether to bump my weights up from 5 pounds. I am not looking to get buff, but I am definitely not getting to burn anymore. Do I even need the burn? What are your thoughts?
Weights are the best. They are a great way to see progress. It is verrrrry slow but an exciting achievement. I could add more reps or sets but exercise for me is a little-time-as-possible event. The other day I had 1 minute to go and it felt like an eternity. Yet, other days it is no big deal. I try to take time to be grateful for the "no big deal" days and survive through the rest.
Weights are the best. They are a great way to see progress. It is verrrrry slow but an exciting achievement. I could add more reps or sets but exercise for me is a little-time-as-possible event. The other day I had 1 minute to go and it felt like an eternity. Yet, other days it is no big deal. I try to take time to be grateful for the "no big deal" days and survive through the rest.
Monday
Tweaking a Theory
My sweet husband has been back on the wagon lately. After many health problems things are back on track and who wouldn't live a little after a year or so of not-so-good. He has been trying to listen to his hunger. It was as he grabbed some chips at 10:30 at night that I saw a loophole in that theory. In "Women Food and God" this kind of listening is key to weight loss. There is no perfect size just what is healthy for you as an individual.
While I absolutely loved the book, I can see one minor adjustment to her theory. First, she says, you have to listen to and love your body. Then feed it what it wants. To me, this step is an advanced one. Food is, after all, fuel. Your body doesn't care what food tastes like or its texture or anything else. It wants fuel to keep your body running. At 10:30 at night your body has not sent signals for more fuel, that hunger is something else. Maybe it is emotional and maybe it is desire for the taste/texture thing but fuel it is not which means it comes from a place other that your normal hunger response.
While food is meant to be enjoyed we don't need it to be enjoyable for our species to survive. Around the world people are eating to survive but here in the USA we are eating to enjoy far more often than for sustainability. Enjoying is not a sin but we need to recognize which beast we are feeding. If more meals feed the enjoyment beast it is called emotional eating. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all my food but yesterday's salad for lunch was a choice. I would have preferred the pizza with all the toppings. But, I took stock for a second in where that desire was coming from and a nice movie with a salad and a home cooked tortilla was enough. I was thrilled with the experience.
While I absolutely loved the book, I can see one minor adjustment to her theory. First, she says, you have to listen to and love your body. Then feed it what it wants. To me, this step is an advanced one. Food is, after all, fuel. Your body doesn't care what food tastes like or its texture or anything else. It wants fuel to keep your body running. At 10:30 at night your body has not sent signals for more fuel, that hunger is something else. Maybe it is emotional and maybe it is desire for the taste/texture thing but fuel it is not which means it comes from a place other that your normal hunger response.
While food is meant to be enjoyed we don't need it to be enjoyable for our species to survive. Around the world people are eating to survive but here in the USA we are eating to enjoy far more often than for sustainability. Enjoying is not a sin but we need to recognize which beast we are feeding. If more meals feed the enjoyment beast it is called emotional eating. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy all my food but yesterday's salad for lunch was a choice. I would have preferred the pizza with all the toppings. But, I took stock for a second in where that desire was coming from and a nice movie with a salad and a home cooked tortilla was enough. I was thrilled with the experience.
Saturday
But still...
I was looking over my food log at when I first started logging. I was surprised at what I saw. I went over my calories a lot. I was averaging 1600 calories a day and then some when I went over. I was steadily losing weight. I loved to get up in the morning to jump on the scale. Those were the best times. I envy you that have that experience ahead of you.
Those early days were full of surprises. I was breaking all sorts of records and my expectations were met and then exceeded. It was not until I started to wonder "if only", that my progress came to a compete stop. Sure, I am now at a comfortable size and weight and this is where I am at my best but still. I can't help but wonder if my mindset change made all the difference.
Those early days were full of surprises. I was breaking all sorts of records and my expectations were met and then exceeded. It was not until I started to wonder "if only", that my progress came to a compete stop. Sure, I am now at a comfortable size and weight and this is where I am at my best but still. I can't help but wonder if my mindset change made all the difference.
Friday
Yummy recipe!
I can't remember if I have blogged this or not. These cupcakes - yes cupcakes - are soooo easy and yummy. All you do is take a cake mix, any flavor, and mix with one can of diet soda...that is it!
Knock yourself out with mixing flavors. Try diet cherry cola and chocolate cake or Fresca and and white cake. Bake as directed and frost or not. You can lighten frosting with fat free whipped topping if you want to skinny it up even more. Enjoy!!
Thursday
Weight loss myths debunked!
http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/5-weight-loss-myths-holding-you-back-1639172/
A quick and easy read - check it out.
A quick and easy read - check it out.
Wednesday
Measuring
For years I have taken measurements as a way to compare myself to myself (the only true comparison). I had a notebook where I would draw this little guy and then write the measurements in the appropriate spots. I kept track of my upper arm, my stomach, my hips, my thigh and my calf. I would add these five numbers together and compare that number with the previous entry - usually every six months or so. After a few years I started listing my weight. I remember not wanting to see it in black and white but knowing I needed to own the number, whatever it may be.
My first entry was August 21, 2001. My total number was 131.5. On January 6, 2003 I was pregnant. My sweet baby boy was delivered February 5th and my total number was 137. That was a blessed pregnancy but I logged that I was up 21.5 inches from my previous entry so somewhere in there I lost some inches. One week after giving birth I was 7 inches down. Oh the memories:)
My lowest pre-awakening number was 114. I was so proud to be there. I remember that feeling well. I honestly believed I was at my perfect size. I had, after all, birthed humans out of this body. My awakening made me realize I was short changing myself. My current number is....wait while I measure...101.5!!!
Measuring is key. You will see far more progress here than on the scale. Start today and you can bank an esteem boost sometime in the future.
Tuesday
New Additions
I added two new widgets to my blog. One is a BMI calc and the other is the diabetes risk test. Both are key to having a wake up call. They are from government sites so they should be safe to click on. Give them a try:D
Monday
Another Milestone part 2
It is official. There have been three distinct experiments. My body has made the switch to needing healthier foods. Since "summer" started I have been on a snacking frenzy. I haven't really gone over on calories and I haven't gained weight really but I have eaten horribly. Sadly, I have been eating more like I used to eat only less of it, which makes my stomach turn in and of itself. I have eaten popcorn and Cheetos and more handfuls then platefuls and my body has made me pay. Oohh the pain:/
I have mixed feelings about this new stomach of mine. I am glad to need veggies and whole grains but right now I am fearful - such a huge milestone and I fear losing it. I do love handfuls of cereal and cans of soda (diet, but still). I guess I am sort of mourning that carefree life. My new life takes some work and some planning but the payoff far exceeds the payout. I am so grateful to have a body that does what I want it to do. Some people don't have those choices because of circumstances not in their control. Shame on me if I belittle my circumstances by taking advantage of them.
So, I guess "cheers to my new stomach - I am glad to have you on my side".
I have mixed feelings about this new stomach of mine. I am glad to need veggies and whole grains but right now I am fearful - such a huge milestone and I fear losing it. I do love handfuls of cereal and cans of soda (diet, but still). I guess I am sort of mourning that carefree life. My new life takes some work and some planning but the payoff far exceeds the payout. I am so grateful to have a body that does what I want it to do. Some people don't have those choices because of circumstances not in their control. Shame on me if I belittle my circumstances by taking advantage of them.
So, I guess "cheers to my new stomach - I am glad to have you on my side".
Saturday
My New Go-To Meal
I have made this recipe about every other week. My family is starting to give me the eye. I love it because I can literally throw it together in under five minutes. The tricky part is the rice. Invest in a rice cooker - cheap is fine. I use half sticky (short grain) white rice and half brown. Try to ween yourself off instant or close to it. Or, in a pot put rice with double the cold water. Bring to a boil with a lid on and then turn off and let sit for 20 minutes or so. Do not lift the lid on the meantime. So, with the rice done on to it.
Caribbean Chicken
1 cup of salsa
1/4 cup orange marmalade (I use sugar free)
a couple of teaspoons of lime juice
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of allspice
1/2 of a roasted chicken shredded (I save the other half for next time)
Put all ingredients in a pan and heat through. Don't measure the ingredients they do not need to be exact. Serve over the rice and yeah dinner is done.
Also, in myfitnesspal I typed in Caribbean chicken and one came up. I looked at it and since it was not unreasonable I just use it when I log. No need to be exact here either.
Caribbean Chicken
1 cup of salsa
1/4 cup orange marmalade (I use sugar free)
a couple of teaspoons of lime juice
1 tablespoon of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of allspice
1/2 of a roasted chicken shredded (I save the other half for next time)
Put all ingredients in a pan and heat through. Don't measure the ingredients they do not need to be exact. Serve over the rice and yeah dinner is done.
Also, in myfitnesspal I typed in Caribbean chicken and one came up. I looked at it and since it was not unreasonable I just use it when I log. No need to be exact here either.
Friday
Great Tip
Last night my good friend was telling me her little hint and I had to share. I thought it was a great idea. (hope it is ok Melissa)
After she eats she sets a timer for a couple of hours or whenever she has designated a meal or snack. That way when she goes to get a treat she sees she only has so many minutes left and it motivates her to wait. The anticipation adds to her excitement and enjoyment of that food, which I love. I wish I had thought of this idea myself. In the beginning I had to eat very regimented meals and snacks and with the last bite of one meal I was anticipating the next. It was my focus for a while but got easier and less important so don't get discouraged about "too much time". Thanks Melissa!
Feel free to send me all the tips you have too.
After she eats she sets a timer for a couple of hours or whenever she has designated a meal or snack. That way when she goes to get a treat she sees she only has so many minutes left and it motivates her to wait. The anticipation adds to her excitement and enjoyment of that food, which I love. I wish I had thought of this idea myself. In the beginning I had to eat very regimented meals and snacks and with the last bite of one meal I was anticipating the next. It was my focus for a while but got easier and less important so don't get discouraged about "too much time". Thanks Melissa!
Feel free to send me all the tips you have too.
Thursday
Old Trucks
I remember being at a friend's house in high school and a sort of war erupted. My friend's little sister needed to be dropped off at an after school event and the only vehicle available was their grandpa's old truck. She was not about to have that kind of mark on her reputation. After several minutes of drama it was comical. We tried to calm her down and make her see that this was "not that big of a deal".
I am not sure of the outcome but that experience has always left a mark on me. It was silly the way she was so upset but I have had my own silly insecurities. It was clear to me that if she had just jumped out of the car with confidence and a no-big-deal attitude, no one would give it a second thought. Sure, a stupid kid might say something but even that stupid kid would not tie that truck to her for the rest of existence. If she got out of the car timidly and apologized and made excuses to everyone, they might actually notice and maybe make a judgment. Her attitude was the only factor that could make a difference in the outcome. Even if judgments were made her attitude and deflection still really had the power.
Am I making my the scene clear? I feel like I am dragging it on. Anyway, the good news is we have the power. If I was to go to a party and was a little insecure about my dress, my experience would not be as positive as if I held my head high and worked it. Although we can't just flip a switch and have confidence, we can gain it. The mind power I preach and teach is the key. Fake 'til you make it I say. I remember seeing a picture of a teacher years later and for the first time seeing that she was a bigger lady. She had such enthusiasm there was no time to be bothered with seeing her weight. Her attitude made all the difference. The percentage of women sitting at their perfect weight with their perfect shape is next to none. We are all on the same side.
These life examples were the things rolling around in my head when I had my aha. I just wanted to be okay with where I was. I was getting there. I was feeling good when I dressed up. I was secure. It was only then that I could hit the jackpot. I admit it seems logical that getting in shape would come first but truly it does not.
Wednesday
Dear UIMB
UIMB (UncomfortableInMyBody) said... I'm sitting at my computer eating another cookie. I'm not fully on board yet.
I appreciated your post yesterday. It's funny and kind of sad ... I can see how writing happy thoughts down and going over them would help me. But I didn't do it today. Maybe I lack the discipline to do it. Do you think maybe I just need to grow up and start doing it?
I'll make my list now. I hope against hope it is as simple as you say but somehow I don't believe it. Maybe the only way I'll know is if I test it.
The brain is a funny thing. All of us have similar tissue all strung up together inside our skull. Have you ever thought how amazing it is that cells with the same molecular structure could create so many different people with different looks and experiences? The mind itself is just tissue. But, everything you have touched, tasted or felt has been processed there. For several different reasons an opinion was created each time something was experienced. If fact, they say that the tissue of the intestines are most like the tissue of the brain - furthering my food/mind connection theories.
I would always joke that somewhere out there could be someone that loved Jello like nothing else. I would think about what my life would be like if I wanted nothing but Jello for dessert. "Want this molten chocolate cake with Creme Anglaise and fresh raspberries?" "No, thanks. I would rather eat this sugar free lime Jello. MMMMMmmm". I seriously would imagine loving the cool taste of the Jello tartness - wanting to change my experience with Jello to a holy one. It never quite worked but I did come to realize how fluid our likes and dislikes are. For example, I never used to like chocolate orange sticks but when I was in Jr-high I went on vacation with my sister and we ate sour cream and onion Pringles and orange sticks that were warm from the heat of the car. I now love orange sticks (not so much the Pringles for some reason). I love them more because of the experience, really. The joy eating them is triggered as much by the happy memory as the taste, even if the memory doesn't necessarily come to my mind.
So, my point in all this is...yes, it helps. If we can work with our brains we can change them. At first, in that back of our minds, we will be thinking "this is never going to work". But, if we work past that point our minds stop fighting it and then eventually starts to accept. Yesterday my sweet four year old had a fit on the floor at the grocery store. A full on fit. Because this is my fourth and last child, I had enough sense to remain calm talking to her and let it just play out. After a short while the fit was too much to continue and we were off to the dairy isle. Strong emotions don't last very long even if we want them to and this can work to our advantage when we want to change our thinking.
Good luck to you, uncomfortablyinmybody. You have a journey ahead of you but without even meeting you I know you posses qualities desired by others. Everyone has special gifts to give the world and you need to discover them and share them.
I appreciated your post yesterday. It's funny and kind of sad ... I can see how writing happy thoughts down and going over them would help me. But I didn't do it today. Maybe I lack the discipline to do it. Do you think maybe I just need to grow up and start doing it?
I'll make my list now. I hope against hope it is as simple as you say but somehow I don't believe it. Maybe the only way I'll know is if I test it.
The brain is a funny thing. All of us have similar tissue all strung up together inside our skull. Have you ever thought how amazing it is that cells with the same molecular structure could create so many different people with different looks and experiences? The mind itself is just tissue. But, everything you have touched, tasted or felt has been processed there. For several different reasons an opinion was created each time something was experienced. If fact, they say that the tissue of the intestines are most like the tissue of the brain - furthering my food/mind connection theories.
I would always joke that somewhere out there could be someone that loved Jello like nothing else. I would think about what my life would be like if I wanted nothing but Jello for dessert. "Want this molten chocolate cake with Creme Anglaise and fresh raspberries?" "No, thanks. I would rather eat this sugar free lime Jello. MMMMMmmm". I seriously would imagine loving the cool taste of the Jello tartness - wanting to change my experience with Jello to a holy one. It never quite worked but I did come to realize how fluid our likes and dislikes are. For example, I never used to like chocolate orange sticks but when I was in Jr-high I went on vacation with my sister and we ate sour cream and onion Pringles and orange sticks that were warm from the heat of the car. I now love orange sticks (not so much the Pringles for some reason). I love them more because of the experience, really. The joy eating them is triggered as much by the happy memory as the taste, even if the memory doesn't necessarily come to my mind.
So, my point in all this is...yes, it helps. If we can work with our brains we can change them. At first, in that back of our minds, we will be thinking "this is never going to work". But, if we work past that point our minds stop fighting it and then eventually starts to accept. Yesterday my sweet four year old had a fit on the floor at the grocery store. A full on fit. Because this is my fourth and last child, I had enough sense to remain calm talking to her and let it just play out. After a short while the fit was too much to continue and we were off to the dairy isle. Strong emotions don't last very long even if we want them to and this can work to our advantage when we want to change our thinking.
Good luck to you, uncomfortablyinmybody. You have a journey ahead of you but without even meeting you I know you posses qualities desired by others. Everyone has special gifts to give the world and you need to discover them and share them.
Tuesday
Summer School
I have a new homework assignment for you. You have got to watch "The Emotional Life". It is a PBS documentary. It speaks all about our different emotions and why we need all of them for a happy life. You will walk away feeling great and empowered. Me and my hubby watched it at night together after the kiddos were settled and it made for several fun mini dates. There are three episodes of about an hour and a half each. You will love it! Search for it on your Tivo or it is on Netflix to watch instantly. It is worth the effort of a two week trial to Neflix where you can watch it from your Xbox and Wii game consoles as well as your computer. During your free trial catch "Food Inc." and "King Corn" as well - both are instant watchers.
Monday
Exercise
Exercise is a big conversation with many many opinions. So, since I am the one talking I am going to give mine.
I believe that exercise needs to be handled a bit more delicately than everyone thinks. If you are trying to lose weight as apposed to getting in shape a delicate balance is required. Although burning more calories than you consume is the overall idea to weight loss, adding a workout to justify the whole bag of Oreos will not get it done. I feel like I preach this over and over but, look at the mindset going on. Oreos are delicious but what is going on that you needed the whole bag? If the thought of only a few Oreos makes you feel all sorts of sad and deprived there is more to the story than taste. Sorry, but true.
Also, our genius bodies are trying to budget as best it can the fuel coming in and going out. When we push ourselves during exercise our bodies are burning burning burning. Afterward, our bodies can begin to panic and either slow down the burning process or trigger the hunger to bring in more fuel. Either way we are sabotaging our efforts.
Learning to balance the food is the real point of focus. Be careful with the exercise. If you are just starting out, just start out with the exercise as well. So many times we get all psyched about losing weight and first thing we do is hop on the treadmill and sweat like a pig. We have "control" initially and power through the hunger but we can only power through for so long. Making smaller sustainable (talking lifetime here) goals may not get you to the end of the race fast but the turtle was the actual winner remember.
I believe that exercise needs to be handled a bit more delicately than everyone thinks. If you are trying to lose weight as apposed to getting in shape a delicate balance is required. Although burning more calories than you consume is the overall idea to weight loss, adding a workout to justify the whole bag of Oreos will not get it done. I feel like I preach this over and over but, look at the mindset going on. Oreos are delicious but what is going on that you needed the whole bag? If the thought of only a few Oreos makes you feel all sorts of sad and deprived there is more to the story than taste. Sorry, but true.
Also, our genius bodies are trying to budget as best it can the fuel coming in and going out. When we push ourselves during exercise our bodies are burning burning burning. Afterward, our bodies can begin to panic and either slow down the burning process or trigger the hunger to bring in more fuel. Either way we are sabotaging our efforts.
Learning to balance the food is the real point of focus. Be careful with the exercise. If you are just starting out, just start out with the exercise as well. So many times we get all psyched about losing weight and first thing we do is hop on the treadmill and sweat like a pig. We have "control" initially and power through the hunger but we can only power through for so long. Making smaller sustainable (talking lifetime here) goals may not get you to the end of the race fast but the turtle was the actual winner remember.
Friday
I'm Aliiivvve
After a whole morning of pain, regret and unmentionables I am about to get ready for the day shaky kneed but still! If only next time would never arrive:/ Maybe it was the Krispy Kreme doughnut I had early this morning that really did the damage.(we had to celebrate the last day of school) I am not scared or worried. I am happy that my body is so used to not eating this way that it is letting me know. As I type I am enjoying a fresh juicy orange and it is the best food I have ever eaten - proving that perspective is everything and perspectives can change. Yesterday I was only over 44 calories. So see, there is room for craziness!
Here are my danger foods: Homemade Brownies, Homemade chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal scotchies or raisin cookies (my hubby has the BEST oatmeal raisin recipe), Ab's snickerdoodles, certain cakes and cupcakes and Baskin Robbins brownie sundae with sugar free ice cream (it has a good texture) and apparently lemon bars but I'd put them a level down from the others. What are yours?
Here are my danger foods: Homemade Brownies, Homemade chocolate chip cookies, oatmeal scotchies or raisin cookies (my hubby has the BEST oatmeal raisin recipe), Ab's snickerdoodles, certain cakes and cupcakes and Baskin Robbins brownie sundae with sugar free ice cream (it has a good texture) and apparently lemon bars but I'd put them a level down from the others. What are yours?
DO NOT Mention the Word ...(all sorts of gross sounds) Lemon Bars
So, remember my last post? Well, I didn't. I thought I would be an extra nice mommy and make lemon bars for dessert last night. My 7 year old has been asking for them.
BTW, the 7 year old is the exact clone of my dad. I send whole apples to school and he actually eats them. He turns down treats that are not his favorite and he never overindulges on the ones that are. He does go a bit further than dad. The other day he asked if he could walk around while he ate dinner. What the?
Anyway, lemon bars. I doubled the batch because that 9X9 pan just seemed too small for a family of six - I had the calories to spare and I wanted to use them. I used them and then some. I ate about 3 or 4 bars and then licked the lemon part off of several more. This morning I want to die. Why oh why did I eat all those lemon bars?
BTW, the 7 year old is the exact clone of my dad. I send whole apples to school and he actually eats them. He turns down treats that are not his favorite and he never overindulges on the ones that are. He does go a bit further than dad. The other day he asked if he could walk around while he ate dinner. What the?
Anyway, lemon bars. I doubled the batch because that 9X9 pan just seemed too small for a family of six - I had the calories to spare and I wanted to use them. I used them and then some. I ate about 3 or 4 bars and then licked the lemon part off of several more. This morning I want to die. Why oh why did I eat all those lemon bars?
Thursday
Dear Dad
My dad and his family can be something of an acquired taste for some - you either love 'em or hate 'em. Over the last couple of years I have come to appreciate the "hate 'em" part with gusto. My dad doesn't listen to anyone but himself.
"Dad, the car broke down at the 7-11. It won't start."
"No, it is fine" and it is. He gets in, turns the key and away he drives. Crazy I tell you.
My dad and all his family have been thin people all their lives. Having spent some time with them you would say they eat whatever they want and they stay thin. My dad eats a full breakfast every morning. I would bet sausage and bacon are regulars. Growing up my dad would watch Johnny Carson with a big bowl of buttered popcorn (oil popped only, we have a family joke about how many poppers he went through). Last night my honey and I did the same thing. Popcorn will always have a hold over me.
Over the last couple of years I have watched and noticed his eating habits. When my dad is done he is done. There might be one small slice of pie left and he will insist he is full. He has a good relationship with his body and knows what it needs and wants. I noticed over the course of a week he balances his bacon and sausage with things like steel cut oatmeal. I know he is not consciously watching what he eats, he is just listening to his body. Our bodies really don't feel well if we eat bacon everyday, but those of us with food obsession have no understanding of this concept. We lose the ability to feel our body - bacon is good and worth the pain. Eventually our body adjusts and the uncomfortableness is replaced. Personally, I think we train our minds to actually like that uncomfortableness - like when a kidnapped victim sympathizes with the kidnapper. Ever heard people say that when they went off sugar and then tasted it again they didn't even like it? What if all of food was really an acquired taste? An acquired taste for an apple instead of a cupcake is the concept in reverse.
So, my dad naturally gets this concept and that is the concept that first blew my mind six or seven years back when I read the book about naturally thin people listed in my Amazon favs to the right. It has been revised and I need to read it again but I loved it. It blew my mind. The thought of enjoying food and still being thin...crazy good!
I am sure I never saw my dad stress eat or eat for comfort and, when I look back, my overall memory would say that my dad enjoyed his food way more than my mom did. He brought home bags of candy (licorice was a must) when he brought home a rented VCR and some movies back in the day. Gift food could last days sitting by his big leather rocker. He was by no means an eater of only healthy foods and there was no obsession with food, any food.
Food is pleasurable like a back scratch. It feels soooo good but too much and there is more pain than pleasure. But, somewhere we got confused and since a back scratch comes with attention and is an indulgence and special we would never want to turn down a back scratch - that would be hideous, like turning down a million dollars. My dad understood that enjoying, really enjoying, a good back scratch and ending just at the right time was more fulfilling. There were no feelings of "missing out" by stopping. I found that I was only half enjoying and the other half was anticipating the end with a sort of fear behind it. When I made the switch to my dad's way the light bulb exploded. Boy, I need to hang out some more and pick up more of his traits!
"Dad, the car broke down at the 7-11. It won't start."
"No, it is fine" and it is. He gets in, turns the key and away he drives. Crazy I tell you.
My dad and all his family have been thin people all their lives. Having spent some time with them you would say they eat whatever they want and they stay thin. My dad eats a full breakfast every morning. I would bet sausage and bacon are regulars. Growing up my dad would watch Johnny Carson with a big bowl of buttered popcorn (oil popped only, we have a family joke about how many poppers he went through). Last night my honey and I did the same thing. Popcorn will always have a hold over me.
Over the last couple of years I have watched and noticed his eating habits. When my dad is done he is done. There might be one small slice of pie left and he will insist he is full. He has a good relationship with his body and knows what it needs and wants. I noticed over the course of a week he balances his bacon and sausage with things like steel cut oatmeal. I know he is not consciously watching what he eats, he is just listening to his body. Our bodies really don't feel well if we eat bacon everyday, but those of us with food obsession have no understanding of this concept. We lose the ability to feel our body - bacon is good and worth the pain. Eventually our body adjusts and the uncomfortableness is replaced. Personally, I think we train our minds to actually like that uncomfortableness - like when a kidnapped victim sympathizes with the kidnapper. Ever heard people say that when they went off sugar and then tasted it again they didn't even like it? What if all of food was really an acquired taste? An acquired taste for an apple instead of a cupcake is the concept in reverse.
So, my dad naturally gets this concept and that is the concept that first blew my mind six or seven years back when I read the book about naturally thin people listed in my Amazon favs to the right. It has been revised and I need to read it again but I loved it. It blew my mind. The thought of enjoying food and still being thin...crazy good!
I am sure I never saw my dad stress eat or eat for comfort and, when I look back, my overall memory would say that my dad enjoyed his food way more than my mom did. He brought home bags of candy (licorice was a must) when he brought home a rented VCR and some movies back in the day. Gift food could last days sitting by his big leather rocker. He was by no means an eater of only healthy foods and there was no obsession with food, any food.
Food is pleasurable like a back scratch. It feels soooo good but too much and there is more pain than pleasure. But, somewhere we got confused and since a back scratch comes with attention and is an indulgence and special we would never want to turn down a back scratch - that would be hideous, like turning down a million dollars. My dad understood that enjoying, really enjoying, a good back scratch and ending just at the right time was more fulfilling. There were no feelings of "missing out" by stopping. I found that I was only half enjoying and the other half was anticipating the end with a sort of fear behind it. When I made the switch to my dad's way the light bulb exploded. Boy, I need to hang out some more and pick up more of his traits!
Wednesday
Dear Mom
My mom has had a weight problem as long as I can remember and then some. She was not an overly obese person but her weight did hinder her activity and played a huge part in her definition - sad but true. I had nightmares as a child about her dying because she was "fat". And, sadly as the effects start to take their tole, her life will be cut short because of it.
However, as I have gone through this journey myself and met lots of people trying to make it through their own journeys, I am so grateful for the example I had. I never once saw my mother go on a "diet". That may seem weird, but I would be a totally different being had I watched my mother lose, feel proud and strong, then gain and feel bad and weak - even if it was only one time. Sure, I would have loved to see her get the mindset to be healthy but I am glad she was strong enough in herself to know that she wasn't ready.
My mindset is directly related to hers. A lot of motivation for my mindset comes from the desire to be an example for my daughter. The mindset, it is sooooo important! Diets don't work and long-term motivation does not come from a disgusting reflection in the mirror. That reflection has so many more adjectives than ugly, fat or any other negative label. Believing this one truth will take you further along your journey than any diet method invented.
However, as I have gone through this journey myself and met lots of people trying to make it through their own journeys, I am so grateful for the example I had. I never once saw my mother go on a "diet". That may seem weird, but I would be a totally different being had I watched my mother lose, feel proud and strong, then gain and feel bad and weak - even if it was only one time. Sure, I would have loved to see her get the mindset to be healthy but I am glad she was strong enough in herself to know that she wasn't ready.
My mindset is directly related to hers. A lot of motivation for my mindset comes from the desire to be an example for my daughter. The mindset, it is sooooo important! Diets don't work and long-term motivation does not come from a disgusting reflection in the mirror. That reflection has so many more adjectives than ugly, fat or any other negative label. Believing this one truth will take you further along your journey than any diet method invented.
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