Day 7

Forgot to weight 135.2 later in the morning.

So, before I start can I say this has been a crazy day.  Errands here and there and I was never still.  I feel fine.  I am not hungry or  have the munchies at all.  I am grateful for that.

Breakfast - I entered about 5 sugar cookies hopefully that is high.  When they come in quarters it is hard to tell
400 calories

Lunch - fat free kettle corn and a caffeine free diet Dr Pepper
125 calories

Dinner - Homemade chicken stuffing casserole with veggies
I estimated at 500 but think it is high

night time snack - 7-11 Sugar free apple mango Slurpee (yum) and nachos
550 calories

Dessert - 1 serving of Godiva pearls - still on the same little container.
25 calories

I still have 41 calories to spare above my break even point - not bad for a horrible eating day.  I really need to create a plan for Wednesdays:/

Day 6

Today's weight 134 after breakfast. 

Not a banner breakfast breakfast this morning.  I have made a homemade pancake mix on and off over the years but I am newly committed after watching several food documentaries.  The syrup I have made only once before but will stick with it.  Both are by no means healthy, but they have small to no preservatives and chemicals which is the new goal.  I had never logged this breakfast before and a gulp was involved.  Although yummy tummy, next time, for myself, I will do things differently.
Tonight we are going out to dinner and to see Five for Fighting in concert.  It will be fun but eating out is tricky.    

Syrup recipe
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
1 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
Cook over medium heat until boiling stirring until sugar is dissolved.    

Breakfast - 3 homemade pancakes and 4 tbsp homemade syrup
490 total calories

Lunch - a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup
MFP says 100 calories I said 150

Snack - sugar cookies (These are like heroine to me. The last two I ate 1/4 at a time thinking I would just have "one more bite"...hah!)  About 8 Godiva pearls 25 calories! and four skittles

Dinner -Subway 6" turkey with all the veggies a little low cal mayo, mustard and just a splash of oil and vinegar
320 calories

Dessert - Village Inn piece of pecan delight pie
480 calories

I managed to come in 150 calories under my break even but mentally feel I have maaaybe broken even.  Tomorrow's a new day right?

Day 5

Today's weight 133.8

As you can see I am not on a very regimented schedule.  I eat when I am hungry.  I long for the earlier days when I basically had six meals a day and a treat was a yogurt or maybe a Skinny Cow, if I was really rebellious.  Everyday there just happens to be a dessert on the horizon that I must account for.  Either that or my schedule keeps me so busy that I don't notice I am not snacking.  I really feel that I have tuned into my body enough that I recognize the signs of hunger, starvation and medicating.  Hunger gets its due attention.  Starvation requires a high fiber food in addition to my meal (fiber bar or popcorn - good because it takes a while to eat).  Medicating is a tricky one.  Sometimes it is a lost cause and other times I can handle it.  My thought process has become so automatic that I really just depend on it.  I trust my body.  I have a reverence for it.

I came in 700 calories under my break even.  There is a chance that I will make up these calories tomorrow:/

Breakfast - 3/4 cup rolled oats, brown sugar and milk
321 total calories

Lunch - Leftover meatloaf, 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese, an apple, 1 leftover piece of divinity
438 total calories

Dinner - Chicken fried rice
447 total calories

Dessert - Dipping dots 90 calories

Snack - fiber bar 140 calories and maybe four chips I am not counting one, because I am way under today and two because I over estimate whenever possible for just this occasion. 

Day 4

Today's weight 133.2

I found my yummy pearls at Kohls but I will be on the lookout for more when I am on the town....looove them!  I really need to kick up the veggies I see.  I ended the day about 250 calories under my break even. Tonight I have the munchies for something salty but I will resist.  Chips or better yet 7-11 nachos.  Have I ever mentioned them?  They are one of those foods that I eat with sound effects...mmmm.

Breakfast - 2 cups Silk chocolate light soy milk and 4 frozen strawberries.  (totally forgot the protein powder and I noticed I was hungry earlier)

Lunch - grilled cheese sandwich on white Grandma Sycamore bread - like dessert I tell ya.

Dinner - Meatloaf, mashed potatoes (no gravy but greek yogurt, salt, pepper and dill weed), mixed veggies (Walmart has great frozen stirfry veggies) and couple of rolls.

Dessert/snack - maybe 12 calories worth of Godiva pearls...AAAaaah!
 some homemade divinity  (I craved this with my third and my older son
 was remembering the good ol' days when we had it a couple of times a
 week)


There is an article in this months Vogue that is practically plagiarism of this blog.  Sure the doctor quoted has her PHD but still.  It is called Slow Food and talks all about experiencing your food and consciously eating.  I looked for it online to no avail.  Check it out if you get a chance.  

Day 3

Today's weight 135.8 :(
Proof that eating out and eating late will effect your weight.


Tahdah!!!  I have found a new find tonight.  Godiva pearls.  They are a bit pricey but worth every penny.  Little pearls of chocolate about the size of a Sixlet with every bit the taste of a bite of a candybar.  The best part?  8 pearls are only 25 calories!!!

Here is how my day turned out.  I came in about 600 calories below my break even.  Little bits of chocolate just make the whole day bliss. 

Breakfast - 3.5 crepes with powdered sugar

Lunch - salmon, mashed potatoes without gravy, mixed veggies, multi grain roll and a oatmeal cookie

Snack - handful of Snaps (they are good in a weird way sometimes)

Dinner - homemade pasta with garlic, herbs, olive oil and Parmesan  

Dessert - Godiva pearls:D

Day 2

It is nice to not be yelling anymore.  I have no idea why the last post insisted on being in capitals. 

Today's weight 134.4

Breakfast - 1/2 of a piece of cheesecake my hunny brought home for me last night.  I split it with my 4 year old - hence the half.

Lunch - 1/2 cup fat free cottage cheese, 1 serving of SunChips and a golden delicious apple.

Snack - shared a bag of Jollytime healthy pop kettle corn

Dinner -  Date night.  A turkey burger with mashed potatoes and a caffeine free diet pepsi  from a little Irish Pub in town

Dessert - 1 bag of Sugar Babies, 1/2 of a Take Five bar and 1 Betty Crocker brownie

Today I woke up feeling kind of yucky.  I have two kinds of yucky that I deal with - one where I want to eat the paint on the ceiling and one where my appetite goes a little South.  Today I was down South.  Tonight I made up for it.  I came in about 200 calories under my break even point and I am totally satisfied. 

Day 1

 Today's weight was 134.2.

This is a dramatic change for just one day.  There is no way that I burned almost 7,000 calories in one day.  My reasoning for this change has three explanations.  First, regular old fluctuation plays a factor.  One's weight will always change from day to day.  Sometimes it will change up and other times it will change down.  Today might have been a down day.  Second, I did not eat after 7pm last night.  I had meetings and there was no time and therefor no temptations - lucky for me.  Third, I believe our bodies are so smart and efficient that they really try to stay normal.  This works for me when I have uncharacteristically gained 4 pounds in 3 days.   When I am trying to lose weight below my "normal" this can work against me.  I have to work long and steady enough that my body realizes this is the new "normal" and lets me really lose the unwanted pounds.

Breakfast - 
2 cups Silk light chocolate soy milk, 4 or 5 frozen strawberries and 1/3 scoop chocolate whey protein powder (first time trying this)

Lunch - 

Cafe Rio pork salad -YUM  (no chips or Guacamole and I ate about 85% of it)

Dinner - 

Homemade cheeseburger plus one extra patty (I buy dinner rolls instead of buns and make patties to match their size)

Garden veggies

Treat - 

4 chocolate chip cookies (from scratch)

I feel good about today.  I ate out at lunch which was a pretty big lunch but the opportunity came along and I had a great time.  I did wish for more cookies.  I was hesitant to let my son make them knowing I would like them too much but I kept it somewhat under control.  My exercise had to be broken up into two sessions because of scheduling but I ended up with a longer workout in the end.  Normally this "unnormal" day would make me a little nervous - "am I losing control".  I have to force myself to look at the positive and remain there.  I ate 250 calories below my maintaining number so I should be okay with myself.  Still, there is that little voice of should've that I have to keep at bay.

My hubby sent me this article.  Pretty interesting!

High Fructose Corn Syrup Causes Bigger Weight Gain In Rats

via Slashdot by timothy on 3/24/10

krou writes "In an experiment conducted by a Princeton University team, 'Rats with access to high-fructose corn syrup gained significantly more weight than those with access to table sugar, even when their overall caloric intake was the same.' Long-term consumption also 'led to abnormal increases in body fat, especially in the abdomen, and a rise in circulating blood fats called triglycerides.' Psychology professor Bart Hoebel commented that 'When rats are drinking high-fructose corn syrup at levels well below those in soda pop, they're becoming obese — every single one, across the board. Even when rats are fed a high-fat diet, you don't see this; they don't all gain extra weight.'"

A 30 day challenge

There are only two reasons why I started this blog.  One of them was to tell the world that losing weight is not as hard as you might think and the other reason was to tell the world that weight loss is a simple yet very difficult mind control exercise - I would venture to say that mindset is more than 50% of the work.  I feel like I cannot stress this enough.  

For 30 days I am going to weigh in and log my foods on this blog.  I will also try to describe my mindset for the day.  I will admit that this accountability may effect my behavior; however, I am very curious to see a months worth of focus.    I think people get the impression that everyone else has it together and they don't  -  "that is my "problem"" they say.  My hope is for you to see that you are not alone.  All of us have bad days.  It is gaining control of those "out of control" feelings that the real work lies.

This is a scary process for me.  I will have to look some of you in the eye from time to time.  This is not my idea of a great time but science wins, this time.  I will start my actual logging tomorrow because every diet always starts tomorrow right?  Besides, I hate to forget something I ate thus far in the day. 

Since there may be new readers I will do a little background.  A few of my posts have been published in a couple different online sites and so if you are new from there...welcome!
I am 35 years old
I am 5'8" tall
My current weight, after a weekend in Vegas mind you, was 136 this morning.  (I have to interject here.  This is a very fluid number.  Some of my friends would die at the site of this number on their scale.  Height is a factor but not entirely.  Others will never reach this number and that is ok.  One of the things you will find throughout this month is that I wish for a smaller number so often I am embarrassed to admit it.  You will never, I mean never, take that deep breath and complete your weight loss goals.  There is always a new low to hit or a trip to Vegas to recover from.  They call it maintaining for a reason.)  My lowest weight ever was 131.6 and I would love to hit below 130 but I am not willing to forgo what it will take to maintain that number.  Someday maybe I will be in that place but I refuse to be something I really am not - I believe it sabotages success .   

 See you on the flip side and wish me luck!

Yum Yum!!

Do you see this collection of wonderment?  This is half of a dessert case that was really in front of me a few days ago.  There is nothing in this world like a bakery dessert.  Keep the candy and ice cream to yourself, for me this is pure heaven.  I was on vacation so of course I indulged.  MMMmmmMMMmm.  It was completely worth the extra calories.  I didn't finish the whole slice of cake (I chose the mousse chocolate cake - I guess I am on a kick).  I had several manic bites and then savored a few.  It was deeeelightful.  I don't remember seeing the coconut cream cake, then again a huge, and I mean HUGE, piece of cheesecake is always a winner.  I think I need to make a quick trip to Las Vegas for some afternoon delight!

More Homework

I watched another movie called King Corn.  Again, it was so informitive about how our food has changed over the last 10-15 years.

We need to know what we are really eating and what it means to our health.  We need to change our way of thinking when it comes to shopping at the grocery store - cheaper is not always better.  When companies choose to make their product without high fructose corn syrup that is a big deal.  HFCS is the cheapest food available and one of the most harmful. 

I found a list of products that don't have high fructose corn syrup.  Buy these products and also write or email the company thanking them for their choice.  Request these items if they are not available at your store.

No HFCS list

Tasters VS Fullers

 
I was talking with my hubby last night.  We had planned to cook something together that we had never tried to make before - just for fun.  Hubby decided he wanted us to try to make chocolate mousse.  It was a fun little date together -  I highly recommend it.  As we sat down to eat it I quickly finished cleaning up before I took my first bite.  He wondered out loud if it really tasted better if the dishes were done.  My answer was "yes without a doubt".  It spawned a discussion.  Was this some kind of OCD behavior or something else?  I feel like this is a behavior that has had a big part in my weight loss.  I have such reverence for food now that I want to give it my full attention.  I want to enjoy every last lick of my spoon.  I am a taster vs a fuller.  Let me explain.

I have found that people are usually one of two types of eaters.  There are those that love that full tummy at the end of a meal and those, like me, that just want to taste what they want to taste.  I am perfectly happy (with a few exceptions) eating a leftover mousse for breakfast.  I am in no way full, maybe even a little hungry, but since there is nothing that can top the taste I have just experienced, I have no desire to eat something more.  I may have to adjust my meals a little but it was totally worth it.  My hubby is a fuller type eater.  He enjoys the warm endorphins of a full stomach.  He goes to the refrigerator with a plan to get full where as I go to find something good to eat.

Fullers have a bit of a challenge at meal time.  If they ate the mousse for breakfast (and who in their right mind would turn it down) they would not be satisfied and need more calories in order to do so.  A fuller needs a lot of low calorie/ high density foods around.  A bowl of  oatmeal with an apple before the mousse would be wise and then the mousse can be a taste verses the meal.  A fuller needs to pay close attention to their own desires which can conflict with generally accepted ones.  Dessert may not matter to a fuller yet grandma Jane would not quite understand this and the fuller pleases grandma more than him or herself.  (Ask her to wrap it up for you that you will love it after lunch tomorrow.  Then waste for heaven sakes.  It is not a sin and she will never know.)

Tasters have their pitfalls as well.  If a taster is craving a certain taste but can't get it, they can eat a lot of calories trying to satisfy the craving.  Ironically, being too hungry can send a taster into a tailspin.  A taster might not recognize hunger as easily as a fuller would - until it is too late. 

Each of us can be a fuller or a taster at different times.  When you wake up in the morning take a minute and figure out what you are that day.  It will give you an idea as to how to eat that day.  Fuller days take a little more planning and taster days may require a trip to the store.  Here is an article I found helpful for both tasters and fullers.


Here is the beloved mousse recipe.  It is about 350 calories for 1/6 of recipe with a dollop of cream on top, which is a must!  The date is optional but again "highly recommended"... the dessert after the dessert is calorie free;D


   

Got Silk?

I have spent some time researching my beloved soy and this is what I have found. 

I have become a Silk soy milk fan.  Although I love 8th continent the best I have now switched over to Silk.  Silk provided me with the info I wanted and so they are my new go-to.  Silk uses whole beans to make their milk verses powder and they do not believe in genetic modification.  This is a huge deal when 85% of soybeans are genetically altered.  (I won't even get into the supreme court's decision that defies natural pollination and all but forces GMO crops on us)   Thank you Silk. 

Here is some Silk soy info

http://www.silksoymilk.com/content/pdf/SilkSoybeanSourcingProgram.pdf
 

What's for dinner?

I watched the movie "Food Inc" today and when it was over I cried.  Although a serious case could be made for major conspiracies (yes, plural),  I was overwhelmed with the fact that most of us don't even know where our food comes from.  Most of the food we eat really isn't food at all.  It made me even research my soy milk further.

It can be overwhelming and hopeless but if, in the very least, it gets us all reading labels more then we will all be healthier for it.  No one will be able to lose weight and maintain that weight loss without learning to read labels.  The best way to learn is just to start.  When you compare labels and choose the healthier one, you are on your way! 

What can you do today?  Stay home and cook a nice healthy meal.  It is the best thing you can do for your family.  I guarantee your family will love it.  Then afterward watch the movie and get a little more educated about what you are putting in your families' bodies. 

Soy you wanna try it?

People, you have got to try this!
For breakfast I had 2 cups of vanilla soy milk, 2 TBSP chocolate syrup and about a 1/2 cup of frozen raspberries.

(Seriously, there is a "P" in raspberries?  I don't know if I have ever had to write raspberry before:/   Learn something new today...check!)   

Anyway, soooo delicious!   You can try the chocolate soy milk and skip the syrup.  The Silk brand light chocolate only has 90 calories per cup so my little recipe is about 200 calories.  I will have to make sure to have a mid-morning snack so that my will power doesn't go crazy at lunch time but I am so happy sipping my little dessert of a breakfast.

My hubby reminded me that I haven't been doing my shakes lately and I realized that might be my missing link.  This time of the year always brings the winter blues but this year has been a little bit harder.  I am up 3.4 pounds from my very lowest, fasting, stomach flu weight and it is killing me.  True, I have been eating out a lot more for some reason lately.  I bet that is why I have such shame and guilt about the 3.4 pounds.  As I say it, I see how ridiculous I am but in my skewed brain it might as well be 31.4 pounds.  Isn't it crazy that we can be so hard on ourselves?  

I bet my lack of soy is part of my hysteria.  Soy is such a good food.  I believe it is a perfect protein all by itself.  It contains omega 3 fatty acids and there are studies that show soy improves brain function.  I am needing a brain function improvement these days so I am adding soy back into my diet!  (you will find as many negative research as positive but I notice a positive difference)

For some of you, the first time you go to drink soy milk you will be a little apprehensive - try the chocolate or the vanilla.  I have never bought regular so I can't vow for that flavor.  The taste will be no big deal.  The texture is like skim but smoother.  In a smoothie you will not notice any difference from regular milk.   Try it...you'll like it! (sung in my best Yo Gabba Gabba voice:)

Cheers to all you soy drinkers!