More Treats For Me

I thought I would share my latest treats.  I do not believe in deprivation.  Do NOT NOT NOT.  I do believe in making the good stuff count.  So, with each of these treats a ceremonial type event is a given.  I enjoy each and every little bite.  I have to admit I have at least one of these treats a day.

1.  Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches - let them sit out for just a few minutes before you indulge and...YUM.  Those few moments give your mouth just enough time to get all watery with excitement.

2.  Orville Redenbochers Kettle corn.  I don't bother with the lower cal.  The extra 100 calories is worth it.  I also crunch on the kernels for hours after - if I am lucky to have some unpopped kernels.  Other brands don't measure up.

3.  90 calorie ice cream Snicker Bars.  I am thinking about just freezing mini Snickers.  It would force me to have to enjoy them longer.

4.  Diet Caffeine free Dr. Pepper.  It can be a sweet treat and makes you feel full for a while.


Try some or all and then let me know your verdict!

Today I watch Steel Magnolias - a favorite of many.  It is not for me.  From the first fumbling steps of Annell walking down the street I get a lump in my throat.  Every wide eyed smile and Pepto Bismol pink in every scene haunts me knowing they will only be a memory with a ting of pain by the end of the movie.  I do love the last scene.  It is refreshing and  cleansing - I  guess that is the appeal of it.  But, help me girls.  What am I missing?  I think the acting is astounding and I covet the friendships.  I always seem to crave fried chicken "made from christian women", some cake, "calories calories" and a really good cherry Coke afterwords.   

It makes me ponder though.   Am I willing to live life "nothing special" instead of "30 minutes of wonderful"?   Some may think I am saying throw away the diet and LIVE.  But, are you really living to eat chicken, cake and a cherry Coke?  It that real happiness or is the food masking something or a crutch to get through the day? I know both of those were truths for me.  Leftover chocolate chip cookies would get me out of bed some mornings.

However, stop guilting yourself for every bite you take.  Life is  to be enjoyed.  The line between the crutch and enjoyment is very thin but can make all the difference in your 30, 60 or a 1,000 minutes of wonderful. 

Exercise Shmexercise... but I love It !

My hubby and I were talking the other day about exercise and how great it is.  (The fact that I would even utter great and exercise in the same sentence is astounding.  Believe me.)  We both need exercise not for the weight loss as much as for the sanity it brings.  I always thought that when people talked about the endorphins it brings that it was some rush of pleasure like taking a swig of marijuana for the first time.  Not that I have experienced a swig, but from movies it looks like what I imagine.  

It is more of just a feeling of contentment all day long.  I feel like I have accomplished something and I do feel better physically when I exercise.  I don't know if it is age or what but my sciatic has been killing me for the last month or so and exercise helps a lot even though I want to do the opposite of exercise.  It hurts so bad. >(

Speaking of exercise...I did up my reps on my weight routine and added a elastic band instead of weights for some.  Wheeew wee that is some burning for you.  Try it!

Schoolin' Myself

School has begun around our house.  It is time once again to get back into the hustle and bustle of life.  Truthfully, I love it.  I am a schedule girl.  I would love a secretary (is that an insulting word?  I never know - assistant maybe?) that hands me my tasks for the day all laid out with their appointed times.  Predictability.  I crave it. 

Unfortunately, I have one more craving I have to fight in order to stay thin.  In the past this need for a schedule sabotaged my routine again and again.  I would get all stressed out when I began an exercise routine because I would worry about when I would get sick or when I would be having my period.  I feel so uneasy when I break my routine.  I really need to work on it.

Today, for example, was the first day of school and I walked the kids to school before I exercised.  Once I got home I was ready to dig into the sticky, crunchy, dirty mess that has built up over the summer.  I was not in the mood to exercise. Plus, my Ipod was out of battery.  I bargained I would just do what I could.  I decided I would stop every 2 and 1/2 minutes for a weight set and repeat for as long as I had sets to do.  I liked it.  I seemed to work a little harder as well.  I started to stress a little.  "What does this mean.  Should I change my routine?"  For me, it takes a conscience effort to just take one day at a time and "just see how it goes".

It always amazes me the challenges that can face our efforts to be healthy.  Everyone has them and they are probably as unique as the individuals we are.  Taking time to meditate and identify some of your particular challenges can help your success come to stay. 

Should Shows

 A few years ago I took a stand against morning TV.  I was struggling with my self-esteem and just never felt good enough.  I got on my knees and prayed.  It sounds weird but one of the things whispered to me was to "stop with all that morning TV".  As I watched for the next few days (I am a slow obey-er), I began to see that they were all a bunch of "should shows" - as I like to call them.  One segment is on how you "should" apply your make-up, another is how you "should" cook healthier and yet another tells us how stars are doing such and such and we can and "should" follow. 

The light bulb finally went off when I heard two contradictory "shoulds".  It was then that I started to understand that facts and opinions are very different and that really there are very little fact and a whole lot opinion and since having opinions was modeled as the ultimate "should", I would (not should) follow my own and be "in" all the time. 

I occasionally watch morning TV but I always keep my ears open for a "should".  It is kind of a game.  There are lots of things to be learned from TV of any kind, I am not anti TV.  I am just a little more cautious.  Check out this post from about a year back for more.

I'm Back!!

I have finally seen 134 for several days in a row.  YES!!!  I have to thank Marci Lock for the click this time.  I was prepared to see a few extra pounds on the scale after my vacation in June.  In fact, I thought about it so much that that is probably why they were there.

Anyway, as you know they were not going away and I started to have the same round of emotions I have had in the past.  I go from being patient, to frustrated, to thinking I had a good run but now the jig is up, to start the whole cycle over again.  When she talked about how our minds see and obey the pictures in our heads, it all clicked...again.  I know this, I teach and preach it.  But, even the teacher needs a lesson once in a while.

Whenever things are stuck for no apparent reason it is my mind that is not in the game.  I have experienced this again and again.  On paper my diet and exercise were perfect.  I was eating under my calories enough that I should have lost those couple of pounds by mid July at least.

I look back now and see how I was "shoulding" myself and shaming myself and beginning to not like what I saw in the mirror.  All for two stupid little pounds.  I need to work on that. But again, not by negative self talk (which can happen subconsciously).  Every time a negative thought comes, or came, into my head I start with my mantra "I feel healthy, I feel happy, I feel terrific".  It works! And, just like that, I'm back!  

About Me

I got tagged from a friend and decided it was time that I talked about myself a little...more:/  So, as far as the tag goes...

1.  My favorite lip product: Revlon Colorstay.  I can put it on in the morning and still have traces the next day.  I am in need of a favorite color.  Nothing is doin' it for me.
2. My favorite earrings: I need to be better about earrings.  The ones I wear the most are regular old hoops.  Got them in silver, gold and a metallic gray. What is that? Pewter?
3. Favorite Nail Polish: I like ELF and Sally Hansen hard as nails in deep shades
4. Favorite Hair Product: Has to be my hair color.  I love the texture it gives my hair. 
5. Favorite Body spritz/perfume: J'adore, a gift from my sweetie.
6. Favorite Clutch/purse: I am in need of a new one.  Who wants to go to shopping at Big Rock?
7. Favorite Shirt: Anything with a band at the bottom that hides my roll but when I am chillin' I am always in a fitted Hanes white v-neck.
8. Favorite Shoes: I have these red ruffled wedges that are cute and easy to get around in.  If you have seem me lately you have seen them.  

   
   

   Some other tidbits about me...

   I am married to my high school sweetheart and we were born on the same exact day in the same hospital.  

   I have four children that I adore and admire.

   Even though, I feel like I spend 18 hours a day trying to get 20 minutes to myself.

   I love to decorate and, for fun, create little portfolios on the computer of rooms in my house decorated several different ways.  

   I love planning.  If I could plan every detail of my day I would be in my comfort zone.  However,  that cannot and will not happen and so I have to learn to go with the flow.  Last minute things drive me crazy.  

   My favorite holidays are Independence Day and Thanksgiving.  

   My favorite color these days is red.  Red with blue undertones.  It makes me happy.

   I am a youngest child. (things are making sense to you now;)

   I am 35 years young and although negative aging thoughts creep up on me sometimes, I rush them away.   I love every year I have under my belt.  I have earned every one of them.  I wouldn't go back if you paid me. 

   
   

   So, there you have me. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Past Present Future

I was driving the other day and the song "Because You Loved Me" came on.  I am a huge Celine fan.  I remember when this song came out.  It was 1996 (I looked it up).  I was driving home on Valentines day and thinking about the love of my life.  It made me cry.  (love you babe)  I remember feeling like we had come so far and how proud I was of our 1 1/2 years of marriage.

When I heard the song the other day I reflected on how many turns our lives have made.  If I could have told that newlywed all that was about to happen to her over the next 15 years, she would have been in awe at all that she would accomplish and endure.  With all the ins and outs, ups and downs life has been good.

I thought I heard the woman 15 years from now whispering about what my future has in store and how life's got a lot more thrill rides ahead.  Thrills are scary first and then fun.  It was a little nudge to help me take on life a little more aggressively and not wait for "the good stuff" (whatever that entails).

There are gifts in every task, challenge and of course success but sometimes only time reveals them.  Take some time to reflect at all the great things you have experienced or accomplished.  Do not let the negative peep in for these few moments.  Be proud of yourself.  You have been significant to many people in the world.  Talk to that younger you and then listen for your older wiser you.  She has great love for you.  Life is to be enjoyed not just endured.          

Thanks Pam

I was reading an article the other day and I was blown away when Pamela Anderson was quoted as saying  "I’ve never been the prettiest person".  My jaw just about fell out the second floor window.  If she has doubts about her looks than that is it.  I may as well get on liking what was given me because if she struggles with her looks...there is just nothing to say.

Sure, Pam may not be your type but you would believe she thinks pretty highly of herself.  It just goes to show that we all have issues and that is where we can all bond. 
 

Marci Lock

I have about four or five posts started but not finished. I will try to catch up. Real quick I wanted to pass on a couple of things. I am always on the hunt for new people that can give me motivation. I learn what I learn and where I disagree I disagree. The point is to add whatever I can to my arsenal against an unhealthy body and mind. I really liked these two clips from marcilock.com

one more

I would add one more thing to my list from yesterday.

9.  You are overweight and you have eaten the food to get you there.  You are not a victim of anything!

I was always so convinced that I was stuck in an overweight body.  I envied the people that would stop their soda habit or midnight snack habit and drop the weight without any effort HAH!  There is always effort.  I used to look at thin people and think "they are so lucky".  No, the people you see that are thin are thin because they work at it or at the very least don't have attachments to food.  Food is fuel that sometimes tastes good.  That is where they are lucky but those kinds of people are few.  Most people have to work at it.

The thought that people can eat whatever they want and stay slim is a lie ...A LIE.  What "they want" is balanced  - at least over time.   It is not genetic or metabolism or even medical most of the time.   Any thin person would gain weight if they followed my previous lifestyle for a year.  They may not look like I did or weight as much as I did but they would be unhealthy for them.

Body shape or style is out of your control so there is no use wishing for a size or shape that will never happen.  And, if "working at" it is not for you then admit it.  Rock the body you got and work on something else.  There is no law that mandates a certain pant size. 

I wasted a whole lot of time too scared to look at what I was eating to look at what I was eating.  I was too afraid to give up wanting and needing food more than what is healthy - to say no to a cookie was blasphemous (red flag).  And, food is only half of the problem.  It was my mindset.  My fear.  The guilt of eating anything besides a carrot.  The fear that I would lose and then gain it all back.  The idea, somewhere deep inside, that I didn't deserve to be thin. These are what kept the weight on for so long.  (not why I put the weight on)

Don't make the same mistakes I made.  See the truth.  Enjoy life!

...things I wish someone had told me when I was overweight and I had believed them.

 
1.  You can eat desserts and still maintain a healthy weight.  (yours may be chips)

2.  You can have a muffin top at any weight and in any size pant so love the one you got:D

3.  There is never a time where you feel completely done.  This is a lifestyle - a never ending fight that you can either hate or embrace.  Choose embrace.

4.  It is possible to look in the mirror and be proud.  You might have to choose to be proud, making a conscience effort, but you can still feel proud.

5.  Some days, even at a smaller weight, you will still have to choose in the mirror.

6.  You can actually enjoy food more while slimming down - in fact it is a key factor in weight loss.

7.  You have more in common with that skinny chick than you think.  She isn't disgusted by you.  She has her own issues she is worried about.  You are the one with the ego thinking everyone gives a  #*&)$%  how much you weigh. 

8.   You can and will lose the weight and you will feel more powerful than you can imagine!

2 down!

This last weekend was my two year anniversary of my awakening.  July 31, 2008 I wrote my pledge and got to work.  I gave myself 3 months to lose the 6 or 7 pounds I was determined to lose.  I had lost 15 or so pounds one at a time with not a lot of devoted effort but I had never seen below 150 pounds since having children.  I was so determined and had full intention to see my goal but I never knew how great it would be and I never imagined it would be such a life changing event.