Click

July 31, 2008 my life switched gears and I will never be the same again. I knew it immediately. It all just “clicked”. On August 3rd I wrote this in my journal


August 3, 2008
The last few days have been really eye opening and great. For years I had been thinking about what it would take to lose weight, real weight, and couldn't quite figure it out. I would think “I don't eat whole pizzas, boxes of cookies and whole bags of chips. I eat better than ever, this is just my size”. I would also think “thin people eat desserts and candy and things not so slimming and they are still slim and I am not like that". I had a huge huge attachment to certain foods especially treats. Every time I would start exercising it was to be able to eat without guilt, not really getting more healthy. I figured I would eat the same but with the exercising I would lose weight. I would end up frustrated, probably because I really ate more because of my attitude.
Then, Tuesday we had book club and Jennie was there and she has lost 20 pounds. She talked on her blog and shouted to the world about her “diet” she was going on. Her and her husband had gone to the doctor and found that they were not in good shape. They hired a dietitian and six months later she went from a size 8 to a 2-3. It effected me and I am not sure I can explain it. I realized I was the one putting the limit on my size and health. I was emotionally addicted to foods.
I told my honey that I was going to lose weight and I could feel it in my bones. I was changed. I have tracked my food online to get a feel for what I am doing and I have exercised more. My attachment is totally different. I haven't had a treat of any kind for going on four days. It is not that I am not letting myself, it is just that being in control and eating it on my terms has become sooooooo empowering. I am also eating way way healthier, veggies, more whole grains and label checking. I wrote myself a pledge the very night it clicked. I would have never done that before because I also realized I feared failure more that the weight.
My Pledge

I will be under 150 pounds by October 1, 2008

I will exercise and eat conscientiously. I will lower my intake and up my activity. I will eat smaller meals to stop from being too hungry. I will not use food as comfort or a reward. I will chew gum to help take away my sweet tooth for comfort purposes. I will take control of my health and feel good about my food choices. I will not limit my body's potential to be healthy.

I am healthy
I look good
I am in control

I am so excited for the future. It is hard to be patient but I know longterm results are worth it. I am walking on air with this new understanding. It is like it just clicked!

That click is what I want for you. Stop wasting time on diets or gimmicks or fat-free, sugar-free. All of that will work itself out after the “click”. Spend time reading up on nutrition and exercise (just reading). Start to taste your food and really enjoy it. And, above all meditate on the challenges that do and will face you. Think about why you do the things you do. Play the “what if” game in your head. “What if food didn't control me”. “What if I actually enjoyed exercise, what would that be like”. “What if that need for a certain food or drink didn't exist, how would I feel about myself and life in general.” Spending some time looking at these issues will do more for you than any cleanse diet. We are looking for that life change. You hear others that have lost weight say “it is not a diet it is a lifestyle change”. Well, chances are they didn't just start eating better and that was the end. There was a mental shift. Forget everything else and search high and low for that shift in yourself.