Anna Deskins

I wanted to pass on a little 411 on the blogger/author that interviewed me so I interviewed her as well. 

 

Your children's book, The Adventures of Smitty looks magically. Tell us about it.

It's the story of a magical island of little creatures called Smilies and the mischievous little main character, Smitty. He's such a naughty boy. Haha!  All the moms and kids I've shared it with have been giving me such a wonderful reaction. I cannot believe it.  I have to tell you how excited I am to finally have a life-long dream come true. Writing The Adventures of Smitty was really about finding a story that I would want to read to my children at night. It has to be exciting but not scary so that my two daughters can go to sleep.  Basically, I was looking for that perfect blend to read to my kids at night and decided, "Why not try writing my own?"

 

We've had a lot of changes in our life recently, so I want to make sure that when I put my daughters to sleep that they feel safe.  I have short chapters because I know how busy we moms are but if you can just sacrifice 5 minutes at night reading to your kids, it makes a world of difference.  Your kids will never forget it. And although we're running around the whirlwind of life, our kids grow up so fast, and that time that we'd rather finish watching what happened in our favorite soap opera instead of reading to our kids will never come again.  I hope that The Adventures of Smitty and books like it help moms do exactly that.

 

 

And it's only 99 cents this week. That's what I love about it. Now, You are recently divorced. How have you been able to continue writing when going through such a change?

Yes, it is by far one of the most challenging points in my life. To see a marriage you thought would last forever to not last forever was difficult for the two of us. I really learned a lot about myself and most importantly, it's brought me closer to my daughters.  I think that's what really motivated me to finish this children's book no matter what. When you're going through changes in your life like this, you need something to hold on to. There's a part of you that wants to prove that you can make it, that you will be a success even if it's not with the partner you originally imagined building a life with.  I had to keep writing, for my kids. I want to show them that they have to keep strong, no matter what.

 

We as women, as moms really need to stick together to support each other and our dreams. We're living in an age when I think we're finally realizing, although we want love, the men in our life aren't the answer to everything. We have to stand up on our own two feet and keep going. True love will happen, but until then, we have to keep moving forward. Our children depend on us and we depend on us.

 

 

In addition to being a children's book author, you're also a small business owner. How do you juggle taking care of two daughters and at the same time running a business?

Yes, I am a fashion designer and have a retail store. Any type of creativity is what I'm passionate about. That's why writing The Adventures of Smitty was so important to me.  Let me tell you, running a small business in today's economy isn't easy especially when raising two girls at the same time. But somehow, it seems someone's watching over me because my dreams are coming true no matter what. To have that many moms glowing about my children's book, means so much to me. And I know my girls are proud.

 

When do you ever have time to write?

You mean, in between laundry, running a business, chasing my girls around the house, cleaning the house, and flying back and forth fromMiami to New York? Haha? That's one thing I've learned, when you really want to do something, you find a way.  Things fall into place if you just go for it and that's what I want to encourage all the moms who are reading this right now. Whatever your goal is, you can do it. Don't let the challenges in your personal life stop you from going for your dreams.  Just go for it and it's almost magical how things fall into place.

 

 

Where can we get a copy of "The Adventures of Smitty"?

Right now, it's available online by going to: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/94655 You can also visit my website:http://www.AnnaDeskins.com where you can read more about my writing process, my recommendations for other books and my own adventures in Mommyhood.

 

I'm so grateful for your support and the support I'm getting from so many wonderful moms who dream of writing children's books one day too.  Writing The Adventures of Smitty has been such an emotional experience for me, a true journey as I was going through so many changes while writing it.  It's truly been a blessing in my life.  It, along with my daughters, and that guy upstairs have really pulled me through a challenging time.

 

Thanks for the interview, Anna. And let's go out and support a fellow mom by getting a copy of The Adventures of Smitty today. I know I will!

Princess You

I have had a fun time raising my daughter lately.  I have been accustomed to cars and trucks and video games with the boys but for my sweet lady it is all princess (with a bit of Katy Parry - the girl loves music.  She is the one I am having to remind to "turn it down".)  For her birthday I downloaded a bunch of princess songs to her ipod and came across this little song.  I love the lyrics.

As we were having a karaoke moment this morning I found the video below.  I thought about how all princess lives are not fairy tales - pun intended.  I myself would not recover from the first fifteen minutes of a Disney princess movie without some major counseling and heavy medication.  

The whole secret to being a princess is the attitude she takes toward life.  Many times it is the only thing she really has control over in her life. Her smile and optimism is really where her beauty comes from.

Now, you do not have to tell me, LIFE IS HARD.  Losing weight or at least feeling good about yourself can feel like that first fifteen minutes.   And, we can not be a princess everyday but I am going to try to practice being a princess as much as I can.  If discouraging thoughts are getting you down then change them for that moment and little by little moments become hours and then they become days.  

Next time you look into a full length mirror, bow.  You are seeing a princess in the making.  (guys - a prince)  

Another Interview

I was recently interviewed for a blog.  Anna is a single mom advocate and I was honored to get to know her a little. 

Here is the link http://annadeskins.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=27:an-interview-with-mommy-blogger-mechelle-wingle&catid=1:news&Itemid=3

Check it out!

My Article

My story finally posted online!  However, my own father absolutely refuses to believe the picture is me.  He thinks they mixed it up with another girl.  It was quite a funny conversation with him.

4 hours of phone interviews and 53 emails later...whalahh! 

http://www.womenshealthmag.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-success-story-27

If a mom eats chocolate in a forest does she still gain weight?

So... I have this dining room at my house.  It enters from the entry way and from the kitchen, which makes a great shortcut at times.  The problem is that the carpet is not loving the traffic from the kitchen or from the front door.  My kids love to play chase in the dining room as well, adding to the problem.

I started putting a piece of tape blocking just one of the entrances and it works beautifully.  But, from time to time the tape breaks or wears out and the path is open for a time once again.  Even me, mom, takes the shortcut when the tape comes down.  When the tape is up I never even think about it.  The choice is made.  And, while I only cut through in emergency situations, my definition of emergency gets broader and broader.  I was thinking about how I have to use similar tactics with food.  I have always said that I will eat anything but, anything and everything are two entirely different things.

Yesterday I was at the store and I was going to buy myself a treat.  I was in the mood for something chocolaty - what else?  As a avid reader of labels I had a hard time choosing.  A nice scrumptious Symphony bar was calling my name but it only comes in the king size ginormous.  I knew that I did not have the will power that day to stop eating.  After several "are we done yets?" I chose a small bag of bridge mix.  Thank you bulk section I never once mourned what I was missing.  Man, dang, freak they were good!      

Craving food verses craving everything else

We must see that if food could and would be taken away then something else would take its place.  Look back at your latest and greatest diet.  See if it went something like this.  You hear from a friend or on TV or read something that talks about losing weight - many times there is a person that has lost weight and their life is on fire at the moment.  They are oozing everything that you feel you lack.  You get completely jazzed about this new "plan".  You buy what needs to be bought and then you start.  Life is grand until it is not.  Something always comes along to sabotage your hard work.  Maybe something at work arises or maybe a friend betrays you or you are bored -  whatever the stress is that seems to come out of nowhere.  I am saying they were probably there all along.  Life was not grand while eating life away.  You were just living life on medication.  "Obsession gives you something to do besides having your heart shattered by heart shattering events. " says the book Women Food and God. 

When these moments have come along.  I learned to lean into them.  Make a list of all the horrible stuff and then some of the good.  Ask why.  Cry.  Hurt, and then see if that craving is still there. 

The Hunger Games

I have been reading The Hunger Game books this summer and of coarse I have to relate it to my food journey - everything does at some point.

Just like Katniss Everdeen, I have to use a variety of t weapons to survive my "hunger game". All of them are useful in my arsenal however, like Katniss and her bow and arrow, my specialty is logging. I love it. It is my most useful tool. Yours may be different and finding yours is key to your success. It cannot be something you think you "should" do. You will know it when you find it - not to say it will automatically come to you. Katniss still had to practice...a lot...on her bow to be great at it. That is one reason why I am always preaching TIME in this journey. It takes time to be good at anything, especially when opposing habits are in play. So, cut yourself some slack.

As far as some of my other weapons, I have many that make my journey possible. I was asked to name three in my article coming out next month in Women's Health. It was hard to narrow it to three and I can't even remember which ones I said. Each weapon produces small success which add up to one BIG success.

Imagery and self talk are two key players in my "success" (remembering that it is summer and, for me, this is my weightier months - dag nabit). Actually, that is another tool. I have to keep positive and realistic. I have to accept my body and how it works. I cannot compare my apple to others' oranges so-to-speak.

Another weapon would have to be weights I think they are wonderful - not that I enjoy using them but they helped me see change in the mirror and that is VERY motivating. Weights also keep me from just cardio-ing my way hungry. When I get too hungry I lose all control of myself. Which reminds me of another. I have to have foods I can go to. If I have "nothing to eat"  monster Mechelle appears and it is not pretty. 

Getting off the fence about a few things made a difference as well.  For example:  say I am at Subway (Love it by the way.  My specialty is turkey or beef with all the veggies and a little pepper and oregano) I would get white bread as a treat.  No more.  I made a firm decision to get wheat.  I don't have to think about it anymore.  Same with fat free dressings or sour cream where fat free makes a big difference in calories.  I don't treat them as a reward.   This might only be me that played these mind bogging games.  Also, I automatically head toward the back of the parking lot.  I don't think about it anymore. I picked a side of the fence and live there happily.

The journey to discover my pack of weapons was one of the greatest of my life.  It was hard going through it and in the middle of it I was unsure I would win the game.  But, isn't that what most hard things we go through are like? 

Avoid Bankruptcy

One of the most common phrases I here is "you are so good".  I hear this when I refuse a treat or pass on the butter...things like that.  I am not the perfect "dieter" but I do watch what is going inside my  body.  I wonder sometimes what these people would think if they never checked their bank balance or credit limits  - heaven forbid. 

Our bodies only have so much in its account and when we overdraw we store fat.  I treat watching my health the same way.  Like with money matters, things come up, occasions or "emergencies" when we dip into a line of credit that needs to be paid back.  However, if we are too casual with our definition of occasion or emergency and use too much credit we go bankrupt.  Illnesses related to weight are the number one killer in the U.S.  That kind of bankruptcy doesn't happen in one bad year or one pregnancy.    It is one choice after another one step at a time. 

If there is one thing I could change it would be that attitude behind watching what is going in your body.  Why is that such a depressing and negative thing?  Why is ignoring the truth so much more appealing?  This kind of fear is epidemic.  We all have it but why?  I wish I knew. 

For me the click was I was no longer going to be afraid of the truth.  I was going to face it no matter what.  It is still hard at times.  I have to re-click again and again.  But I still look.  I am not sad that I might be logging my foods the rest of my life.  I check my financial account almost every time I spend and my health takes precedent over money right?  Aren't we grateful for health before riches when it comes down to it?  From what I have seen, when facing financial bankruptcy, looking at the truth is step number one as well.  Many times bills have gone unopened to avoid the heartache but it is only when you face truth that triumph can prevail. 

 

Livin' in CrAZy

Something that is true for me is that I never get full when life gets crazy and hectic.  Whether the stress is good or bad the scale always knows.  When I know this is going on I have to take some time to access myself.  It makes no sense to commit to anything when you know it is doomed to failure.  I have been waiting to commit to good eating again until I know I can make it.  A lot of days I am not necessarily eating more calories than I should but I feel rushed and out of control about food - plain yuck.  This kind of eating still adds pounds because stress (good or bad) shoots chemicals that store energy.  Couple this with never feeling full and you see where I am.  I have been running around while we are under construction coupled with end of the year crazies and you have me, in this state of mind.  I am not sure I have had quite this kind of hurdle since losing the weight but here I am.  I am almost anxious to get back on track but know that it will take another week or two.  For now I am going to focus on getting my water in each day.  (remember...add not subtract)  

Oprah Farewell

I would not be me if I didn't take a quiet moment to say "farewell" to Oprah.  I have loved learning from her and zillions of her guests.  I swear Bob Greene would show up with new health inspiration whenever I needed it.  I would save those Tivo-ed episodes and watch them again again when I needed them. 

I have several episodes that I am not sure when or if I will ever delete them. Two Women Food and God episodes (watched one just the other day).  And, one from years ago about whether you should love your kids more than your husband - a great debate.

Thank you Oprah!  I was 11 when I first watched and I am so grateful for all you taught me.
XXOO