I am enjoying the summit... for now

Today I was 132 on the scale.  HHAaalelujah! 


I wanted to stop for a minute and reflect on some things that got me here.  I am always surprised at what is takes to get to my low, although it is always the same few things.

Some facts about my last few weeks are these

1.  School started and I have some moments to breath during the day.  I love my kids but their many wonderful and exciting stories they have to tell can be exhausting.  I would say 95%  of the time they are home one of them has a tale to tell.  I have a deep desire to be excited and listen carefully and it is hard work sometimes.  Alone time...I need it. 

2.  Right before I lost the three pounds (for those just starting that is like 20 pounds) that have been my closest and dearest friends for months, I scaled back a little on my exercise.  The machine says it is only about a 30 calorie difference but to my sweat glands it is a world of difference.  When I take a more even pace I seem to do better on the scale.  Weird I know.

3. I haven't been as hungry.  Points one and two get the most credit for this one.  When my mind is cluttered and busy I eat more and when I exercise harder I am more hungry. 

4.  I have been diligently working on my mindset.  Remember all that 2 pound stress?  It was real.  My confidence was so down.  I was constantly cutting myself down inside and then trying to build up motivation over and over again.  I realized that I had to start with not letting those negative thoughts even start.  I had my positive internal chant ready to go.  I repeated it whenever I thought of it and whenever a negative thought popped in my head - even if it was true.  "I should exercise".  True, but I was downing on myself so I trained myself to stop at the "sh" and chant away.  Miracles are what can happen with this kind of habit and not just with weight issues.

5.  This is my easier season.  I remember last year so many of my friends struggling through Halloween and me not so much.  Easter and summer are what killed me.  I am trying to let my body have its ups and downs and I really believe that is the best I can do.  Giving my body some permission to fail a little makes it better somehow.  Like how all the smaller earthquakes helps the large 7.5 "big one" stay at bay.    

I am always in wonderment about how much of this journey is a mental one.  And, how the littlest things add up to a big thing.  As I look out over the summit and see all that it took to get here I appreciate the climb and feel the good ache.  At some point you will be enjoying the view and I will be ever so slowly taking each step at a time toward it. It is life. Come what may and love it!