Homework

I have read yet another book that speaks to me and eating healthy. It is A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. It is not about weight loss but about how we are living a human experience and that human aspect doesn't always want the best for us - in fact it really never does. That part, or ego as he calls it, is made up of our thoughts and emotions. When you think about it, both of those things are not really based on fact and rationality. Our thoughts and emotions can only come from our perspective and that alone taints what is really happening.

Eckhart believes, and I agree, that there is a part of us that can be rational and clear. There is a space just outside our thoughts and emotions that has a godly quality. It is our higher self. It is who we really are and have been for eons of time. Each of us has encountered this self at one time or another (at least I hope so). In meditation or prayer, it is that feeling of peace - when a warmth enters and you are calm and tuned in so to speak. You can only feel this higher self you cannot see it. Tolle calls it “being present" and I think it is a great word for it. There is no sorrow for the past or anxiety for the future, there is only now. Now is the only thing that matters. Now is the only thing that you can control. Now is life, life is now.

In general food is eaten with the ego. The ego craves and feels deprived and wants comfort. Eating from the ego, the opposite of the present, is just that, not present. Food goes down our throats and only a small percentage gets really noticed. We all have those foods that we CANNOT live without or that we CANNOT resist. I have never been one to suggest we try. The food is not the problem. It is the why. Why does not having that food(s) send a shudder through our spine? Well, maybe in the past we were deprived or in the future the possibility that we will want it and not get it sends the shudder but the fix is in the present.

 The number one most important thing I did in my mind switch was to eat consciously. I ate an apple and paid attention and when I ate a cookie I was all the more aware of every bite. It was all wonderful. Food is wonderful. It really is. There are relatively a few ingredients on the earth and yet endless possibilities. We need to be in awe of food a little. We need to have reverence when we eat something delicious - especially when we worship it so.

With that intro here is the assignment.

 I want you to plan a time when you can get several of your worshiped foods together along with a pen and paper. We are not even going to talk calorie count this time. Plan ahead at least a few days and try to have some alone time. We need silence and serenity. If you are catholic you might want to light a candle. This is going to be holy stuff.

Sit in silence for a few minutes and just listen to yourself breath. You might hear yourself talk and when you do, answer. One voice is your ego and the other is the real you. You will begin to feel that higher you - he/she is the calm one. Next, I want you to take a bite of food and feel every last texture and taste and every last layer of flavor. Good food is good because it has more than one layer of greatness and you want to experience them all. Listen to that conversation in your head. Hear for the ego's guilt, shame, and even the pretend joy. Then switch over and experience the real joy. There is a difference.

For some, an emotion might come from out of nowhere. A thought or a memory will spark some pain and that needs to be written down for later observation. Be aware of the rush of adrenaline which is the ego. You might experience a wave of emotions and your head might be distracted with thoughts going in and out. Try to just be aware of that happening and you are making progress.

 I am convinced that if we can let that higher power within us just peek in once in a while and say, "hey, the thoughts you are having are not the truth, they are just thoughts" or "hey, you are checked out while you are eating this", it will make a world of difference in our lives. When we can hear that voice it becomes louder and more a part of us and weight will come off. I wouldn't be surprised if many of you don't finish all the food you have collected. You may want to save it and do it again at a later time.

 Now, grade yourself. Were you able to do it? Where you able to connect to your higher you? Did you feel powerful if even only for a minute? If so you are beginning a new ride - enjoy it!

Inspiring Minds Want to Know

I've been watchin' me some Oprah lately.  If you could hear me speakin' I'd sound like Miss Paula Deeeen since that is my latest and greatest episode of Oprah's Next Chapter.  A fave for sure. 

I have decided that I am addicted to being inspired.  I love hearing other people's lessons from life and learning from them myself.  I always say that being the youngest of 7 (seven, that was not a typo) made me teachable.  I was always being told something by someone.  I am not, if nothing else, afraid or ashamed of being told what to do.  It can have its drawbacks but when it comes to learning from others, I treasure it.

I have found that being inspired is a quick-fix way to get motivation. I have also found that it doesn't always come to me.  I need to go out and seek it.  But, whether it just shows up or I seek, the motivation comes just the same.  So, here is a list of some of my motivating inspiration.

This Emotional Life - a PBS 3 part series
Food Inc.
Food Matters
Oprah's Next Chapter - seeing the world through other people's eyes lets me see through my own eyes with a little more courage and gratitude. 
http://www.megjohnsonspeaks.com/ - If I could develop a fraction of her optimism...
Jill Bolte Taylor's Stroke of Insight - a TED TALKS must see
Home movies - this may be considered negative motivation for some but learning to accept yourself for everything you are moves you forward to who you are becoming.  
and the list goes on

Life Lessons in a Diet Coke:D

I was drinking a Diet Coke the other day.  It was one of those 20oz bottles and after just a few short gulps my stomach felt like it was going to explode.  I realized that same, I will spare you the adjectives, creeps up on me while I eat sometimes.  Have you ever been out or something and you are so full but you just keep eating?  What is that?

 I discussed it with hubby and we both agreed that it was fear that keeps us eating.  Maybe the memory of dad setting the timer until you finished your dinner (sorry to out you dad) is the source of the fear but I would bet it is most likely something else.  There is a part of us that fears that we "will never get this opportunity" again or "I can't waste money and not finish".  Both of these are a little true but are they worth the heartache and pain?  The courage to throw away the last few bites of a caramel cheesecake is immense; but, the gratification when you are driving away can be equally immense - you really will survive.  (If you find yourself in a full-on panic then fantastic! we have identified a pretty serious issue and there is help.  Don't be afraid to get the help you need and deserve.)

Am I perfect at this...NO!  I am a work in progress.  As long as the progress is stable we are winning the battle.  It doesn't matter how slow or fast that progress takes either. It is you that defines your success.  Sometimes we just need to use manual drive instead of auto pilot. 

So, here is your homework.  Go and buy one of those 20oz bottles of soda - any kind will do.    Don't worry about the calories, this is research.  Try to drink it in under five minutes.  This will be easier for some than others.  Now, pay attention to what you feel like.  Put that feeling in your memory bank and use it to gauge future hunger/full levels.  This will be a ten and starving a one.  Try to stay in the middle of the boat.  Being starving can cause its own problems.  Eat at about a two and stop at a seven or eight.  Listen to your body.  It is smarter than me or anyone else giving out weight loss advice!

2012 Is this the year of change?

2012 just seems like a new era to me.  I think things are looking up for the world.  We have shouldered quite a bit these last few years and maybe this year we can begin to get our sea legs back. 

I read this article today and loved how it touched on so many different parts of health and weight loss.  The hardest part about telling people how to be healthy is there are so many different facets and some of them look as if they cannot exist at the same time.  Everyone has their own particular formula to all these ideas and more and that is the way it should be.  http://health.yahoo.net/articles/weight-loss/8-best-ways-curb-your-food-cravings

2012- bring it!

Mark Cuban ... yup, you heard me

Hello!!! Do not ask me how I got this interview but you single gals will be jealous (What am I saying? You married ones will be too). 

We all know who Mark Cuban is right? Sporty and non sporty gals alike - we might not know his story (until now) but we know that face anywhere. Whit whew!

No, I can not introduce you but I can share with you a little of his story and tell you where to find more. Grab his book for yourself or for your hubby. Hubby will be learn great business and grow richer and you can gaze at the pictures;D Win/Win! (something else Mark knows a thing or two about)

One of my favorite parts of your book, How to Win at the Sport of Business, that completely broke my heart was when your ex-secretary robbed your first company of over $83,000, leaving you only $2000 after a year of work.  If there are moms out there that have lost everything, what advice do you have for them to pick themselves back up?

Keep working. Don’t feel sorry for yourself because it won’t do any good.

There are many young moms who are just beginning their lives and can relate to
you when you said you were sharing a small apartment with 6 people and
sleeping on the floor.  How can someone keep their eye on the prize when they’re
living on Ramen noodles?

Who cares how you are living today? I loved every minute of living in
that dump. The low rent and utilities and eating Mac n’ Cheese all
the time allowed me to afford the startup of my business. Instead of
paying myself much, I could put it in to my business.

There are many mommies out there that dream of creating their own business
but haven't a clue where to start. What advice do you have for them?

Find something you love to do, can do on your own and doesn’t require
any more capital than you can afford to lose personally. The most
valuable asset you have is your time, talents and ability to
communicate. Focus on those strengths and what you can do rather than
what you can’t do.

You were offered many opportunities to publish your book traditionally by the major publishing houses but you were quoted as saying that you didn’t like the financial risk model that most publishing deals would offer you. Why?

Time is the most valuable asset I have. The amount of time required to give the publishers a chance to make their money back wasn’t  worth the money to me.  My preference was to put out an eBook on my own terms and see how it did and what I could learn.  Based on this education, I will be a lot smarter about what I do next.

You have a fanbase of millions. And you have encouraged them to email you their thoughts on your book.  What kind of feedback have you been receiving?

100% positive. I’ve been shocked by how quickly people have bought the book and read it.

Where can we get a copy of your eBook, How to Win at the Sport of Business?
Anywhere eBooks are sold: Amazon, BN.com, and sites that support independent bookstores too.

Meg Johnson - Hero

Every once in a while you have an angel enter your life and Meg has been one of those for me.  In a period of about two weeks our lives crossed three times and now I consider her a friend.  And, Facebook can prove it ;D

To learn more about her check out her website www.megjohnsonspeaks.com/   She is an amazing person.  Take some time and see what she has been through.

Every month she sends out a message that always inspires and I wanted to pass on this month's.

Take it away Meg!

Here in the United States, we’re gearing up to celebrate Thanksgiving next Thursday – with turkey, cranberries, and creamy, gravy-dripping mashed potatoes.

(You just salivated, didn’t you?)

And it’s traditional, well, at least with me, to make long lists of the things I’m grateful for. Being grateful makes me feel, well, strong.  Even though I’m quite the pansy.

I like to think of it this way: if life were a brick house and each brick a blessing or a trial (sometimes it’s hard to tell the two apart), then gratitude is the mortar that holds your house together. And when we’re grateful for each little brick (whether or not it’s worthy of our gratitude), we find we’re not feeling drafty within ourselves. Our character is solid. Our house is strong. 

And the times when we feel financially strapped, or relationship-challenged, or directionless are the times when someone’s come and dumped a bunch of unnecessary bricks at our door – the dark ugly ones that don’t match the beautiful exterior we were going for. And the bricks will kill the lawn unless we add on to the house.

So bring on the mortar!

I just love Thanksgiving. Not because of the food or the family time or the football (go Bengals!), but because I have those things and Thanksgiving reminds me to remember that.

And even though it’s colder around this time of year, my little personal house feels less drafty as I’m busy with the mortar.

Keep on Rollin’

Meg

FUn SiZe

My new favorite treat are the fun size candy bars.  I prefer Snickers or Baby Ruth but I am not prejudice, I am an equal opportunity candy eater.  On my hunt for a treat at the store I, again, am reading labels.  Nothing sounded as good as the cost and yet I all out longed for the days when I didn't even consider the cost.  There was a little tub of chocolate covered cinnamon bears and a tub of chocolate nut clusters that I WANTED.  I knew that if I took them home I would be wearing all 1300+ calories.

I have been buying fun size candy bars in a package of 8 to put in the kids' lunches from time to time.  You can find them for $1.  Did you know that a whole Snickers candy bar is 280 calories yet I can have 2 fun size for only 160?  I often get asked how I don't down the whole package of 8.  I guess I have a gift.  But really, when I am eating my two candy bars I am in full concentration.  I am doing just what I want to be doing.  I am in full indulgence.  Why I can't do that with a little tub of cinnamon bars?  I could only have 4 bears for 180 calories and even 8 bears is not enough for me.  When I buy treats I skip the economy bag.  I am never saving money by buying a larger bag.  I am only buying myself grief and I always promise myself more if I NEED it. 

I am getting tickles in my tummy just thinking about today's treats.  And, that is another plus, while a regular Snickers lasts only a few minutes I get a few days out of a  fun size pack.    

Anna Deskins

I wanted to pass on a little 411 on the blogger/author that interviewed me so I interviewed her as well. 

 

Your children's book, The Adventures of Smitty looks magically. Tell us about it.

It's the story of a magical island of little creatures called Smilies and the mischievous little main character, Smitty. He's such a naughty boy. Haha!  All the moms and kids I've shared it with have been giving me such a wonderful reaction. I cannot believe it.  I have to tell you how excited I am to finally have a life-long dream come true. Writing The Adventures of Smitty was really about finding a story that I would want to read to my children at night. It has to be exciting but not scary so that my two daughters can go to sleep.  Basically, I was looking for that perfect blend to read to my kids at night and decided, "Why not try writing my own?"

 

We've had a lot of changes in our life recently, so I want to make sure that when I put my daughters to sleep that they feel safe.  I have short chapters because I know how busy we moms are but if you can just sacrifice 5 minutes at night reading to your kids, it makes a world of difference.  Your kids will never forget it. And although we're running around the whirlwind of life, our kids grow up so fast, and that time that we'd rather finish watching what happened in our favorite soap opera instead of reading to our kids will never come again.  I hope that The Adventures of Smitty and books like it help moms do exactly that.

 

 

And it's only 99 cents this week. That's what I love about it. Now, You are recently divorced. How have you been able to continue writing when going through such a change?

Yes, it is by far one of the most challenging points in my life. To see a marriage you thought would last forever to not last forever was difficult for the two of us. I really learned a lot about myself and most importantly, it's brought me closer to my daughters.  I think that's what really motivated me to finish this children's book no matter what. When you're going through changes in your life like this, you need something to hold on to. There's a part of you that wants to prove that you can make it, that you will be a success even if it's not with the partner you originally imagined building a life with.  I had to keep writing, for my kids. I want to show them that they have to keep strong, no matter what.

 

We as women, as moms really need to stick together to support each other and our dreams. We're living in an age when I think we're finally realizing, although we want love, the men in our life aren't the answer to everything. We have to stand up on our own two feet and keep going. True love will happen, but until then, we have to keep moving forward. Our children depend on us and we depend on us.

 

 

In addition to being a children's book author, you're also a small business owner. How do you juggle taking care of two daughters and at the same time running a business?

Yes, I am a fashion designer and have a retail store. Any type of creativity is what I'm passionate about. That's why writing The Adventures of Smitty was so important to me.  Let me tell you, running a small business in today's economy isn't easy especially when raising two girls at the same time. But somehow, it seems someone's watching over me because my dreams are coming true no matter what. To have that many moms glowing about my children's book, means so much to me. And I know my girls are proud.

 

When do you ever have time to write?

You mean, in between laundry, running a business, chasing my girls around the house, cleaning the house, and flying back and forth fromMiami to New York? Haha? That's one thing I've learned, when you really want to do something, you find a way.  Things fall into place if you just go for it and that's what I want to encourage all the moms who are reading this right now. Whatever your goal is, you can do it. Don't let the challenges in your personal life stop you from going for your dreams.  Just go for it and it's almost magical how things fall into place.

 

 

Where can we get a copy of "The Adventures of Smitty"?

Right now, it's available online by going to: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/94655 You can also visit my website:http://www.AnnaDeskins.com where you can read more about my writing process, my recommendations for other books and my own adventures in Mommyhood.

 

I'm so grateful for your support and the support I'm getting from so many wonderful moms who dream of writing children's books one day too.  Writing The Adventures of Smitty has been such an emotional experience for me, a true journey as I was going through so many changes while writing it.  It's truly been a blessing in my life.  It, along with my daughters, and that guy upstairs have really pulled me through a challenging time.

 

Thanks for the interview, Anna. And let's go out and support a fellow mom by getting a copy of The Adventures of Smitty today. I know I will!

Princess You

I have had a fun time raising my daughter lately.  I have been accustomed to cars and trucks and video games with the boys but for my sweet lady it is all princess (with a bit of Katy Parry - the girl loves music.  She is the one I am having to remind to "turn it down".)  For her birthday I downloaded a bunch of princess songs to her ipod and came across this little song.  I love the lyrics.

As we were having a karaoke moment this morning I found the video below.  I thought about how all princess lives are not fairy tales - pun intended.  I myself would not recover from the first fifteen minutes of a Disney princess movie without some major counseling and heavy medication.  

The whole secret to being a princess is the attitude she takes toward life.  Many times it is the only thing she really has control over in her life. Her smile and optimism is really where her beauty comes from.

Now, you do not have to tell me, LIFE IS HARD.  Losing weight or at least feeling good about yourself can feel like that first fifteen minutes.   And, we can not be a princess everyday but I am going to try to practice being a princess as much as I can.  If discouraging thoughts are getting you down then change them for that moment and little by little moments become hours and then they become days.  

Next time you look into a full length mirror, bow.  You are seeing a princess in the making.  (guys - a prince)  

Another Interview

I was recently interviewed for a blog.  Anna is a single mom advocate and I was honored to get to know her a little. 

Here is the link http://annadeskins.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=27:an-interview-with-mommy-blogger-mechelle-wingle&catid=1:news&Itemid=3

Check it out!